Broadband was turned on last night! The DSL modem is a fairly unimpressive grey box that features gill-like ridges as if it were an unlikely plastic fish, but in contrast to the connections that I've used in the past, its presence means that we can use the Internet:

• At all times of the day
• Without dying from old age while waiting for a page to load
• Unrestricted, with no blocked ports resulting from ITS paranoia

I would write more, but I have to beat the world at Unreal Tournament (or failing that, just the people on the New Players Only servers).