I know that finding yourself laughing at code is a sure sign that you should book yourself into the nearest mental institution as soon as possible, but I had to save this quite frankly incredible offering from the Java forums here. This leaves me in the uncomfortable position of either posting something that will appear as gibberish or having to explain its utter hilarity from my viewpoint, but I'll just hope that people will understand its quite astounding uselessness.

package javaapplication3;
import java.io.*;
public class Main {

   public Main() {
   }

   public static void main(String[] args)throws IOException
   {
    int count=0;
    String w= "today is a short day";
    for(int m=0 ; m<w.length()-1 ; m++)
    {


     count++;
    }
    System.out.println(count);

   }

}

As one of the regulars said: "This has to be the best example of reaching one's left hand around one's backside to scratch one's right ear (and not even quite reach it) that I've ever seen. Classic!"