I don't think I've actually done a Christmas loot post before, because it feels somehow uncomfortable to just list our acquisitions. But as it's the fashion, I've made an attempt at balancing it out by listing what we gave as well - when you're married the whole present-giving and receiving dynamic changes completely, because you receive gifts as a couple but also get the advantage that you can put both your names on the one present for people and spare overstretching your limited imagination. Therefore, these are lists of what we gave and received, and it has to be acknowledged that whinknee put the vast majority of the thought into the gifts that we sent to both our families.

• For mother-in-law: Various bits of glassware for use in bar in renovated basement


• For father-in-law: Contribution towards set of giant frames for various difficult law degrees


• For brother-in-law #1: Universal remote


• For brother-in-law #2: Threatened with a children's book about naked mole rats unless he told us what he wanted for Christmas. Eventually got him a jumper, and children's book about naked mole rats


• For pami_zee: A grand piano-shaped bracelet charm that surprisingly isn't unwieldily heavy


• For quadralien: A combination that I still can't quite believe in the form of Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Winter Games, and the book of Bent Objects


• For brother #2 without Livejournal: Tin of coffee from Trader Joe's


• For parents: New webcam so that when we talk to the family we can see more than my mum's left ear or the back of somebody's head


• Extra for Mum: Tray of coconut truffles from the dairy, tarted up in gift box that I found lying around in the basement


• For Whitney: Little Big Planet for the PS3 (mostly because of the inclusion of Stephen Fry) and the book of Cake Wrecks.

I was astonished by the number of blogs that I saw in the airport bookshop, in fact - there's a Failblog book, and even a collection of lolcats that is a sequel to an earlier published collection, proving conclusively that you really can get any rubbish printed.

And my own stuff, including some joint presents:

• Soul Calibur 4 from Whitney, Silent Hill Homecoming from brother-in-law #2, and Prince of Persia 2008 and Ratchet and Clank: A Crack in Time from my family - an impressive PS3 starter bunch!


• Two albums by Heavenly - Coming from the Sky and The World's Most Embarrassing Album to Open in Front of Your Mum


• A CD set of The Mighty Boosh, a programme that I have never really understood


• A wooly jumper


• A nice scarf


• A pair of wonderfully charming Morph bookends


• "Grumpy Old Wit", a collection of quotations from various Victor Meldrews of our time. Someone thought it suited me.


• A book about "100 Essential Things You Didn't Know You Didn't Know", such as how to measure distance when not walking in a straight line due to alcohol consumption and details of how electricity pylons are constructed - I question the "essential" part


• A Cadbury's selection box, traditional for the last 25 Christmasses


• Bennachie mugs


• Toffee


• Jam


• Cabadath


• A small rainbow-striped rabbit to add to the family


• Eine Weihnactstischdecke, oder, wie sagt man in Englisch, German Christmas tablecloth, made out of 53% tree-wool, with decorations


• Socks (and it's surely a sign of aging that I genuinely appreciate these now... mine are falling apart and you can't get the ones I like in America)


• A wind-up dynamo powered torch


• An electronic metronome


• A remote-control polystyrene helicopter


• Some sort of digital photo frame that fits on a keyring


• Papers to claim the maturity of a child bond


• Therefore, probably the down payment on a house

Big presents really do change as you get older - we're going to have to think about the last two. Thanks to everyone who got us one or more of the above!