Last night, I was part of a group of people arriving at the Olympics (though I should say right now that the rest of what happened in this dream bore very little resemblance to its apparent setting). We were walking along a corridor that looked out on to the stadium on the left, with a slanted section with the flags of the countries sticking out of it on the right. We passed four or five England ones, then some others from various different countries, before finally finding one that was for Scotland. It was the lion rampant and not the Scottish flag, but we took it anyway to plant it at any event that we won (perhaps the differing numbers of the flags were fair predictions of how many events the countries were likely to be successful at).

The place we were staying was like a large hotel with various events going on in it. I took a flyer and saw that there was an event called "Paradise" in an hour's time, marked with the Iron Savior insignia. I went along to it, and it was a sparsely-attended showing of various new music videos. Among them was the debut solo release from Piet Sielck, which was a song about the downfall of the British Labour Party. The video basically involved him wearing a colossal vending-machine-sized backpack and wandering aimlessly around London on a miserably dreary day. It was exactly as bad as it sounds, which is to say even worse than their cover of This Flight Tonight. People seemed to enjoy the softer style, though, even if his voice was totally unsuited for it.

There was some anti-piracy information on after the video in which the film companies had started saying "Yes, we know films are much better if you pirate them, but please buy our DVDs before you download a decent copy". After that, I went back to the rooms with the couple of other people who attended the screening, noticing that where you would expect to have doorhandles, the doors had buttons marked "THIEF ALARM 1". I accidentally pressed it on one of them, but it didn't appear to do anything, and I left them at their room while I went to meet up with the rest of my group for lunch at a nearby Legal Sea Food (and I should explain that this is an American seafood restaurant which was named after the founder's father's Legal Market, and not in direct competition with a Dodgy Sea Food next door).

The five-year-old son of some Americans with our group came in, upset that he'd just been thrown out of some junior equivalent of American Idol or other. As the fawning over him took place, the stupidity became too much for me and I quietly left, shutting the front door behind me. "You stupid Americans," I shouted back at the front of the restaurant, "What do you expect when you put your son through ritual humiliation based on someone else's ability with the autotune?" But the door had squeaked open and I think that they heard me. I went off down the corridor again to see if I could meet up with one of my friends from school.

I caught him just as he was leaving his room - he must have been off to a fancy dress party of some sort, because he was dressed up as an undead rapper, by which I mean he was wearing about a ton of gold chains trailing behind him and was covered from head to toe in bolognese sauce. Thoughtfully, he moved along the corridor in this costume dragging a sheet of cardboard behind and underneath him so that the drips didn't get on to the floor. He hadn't had lunch and wanted to go to Legal Sea Food, but I was wary of going back in there after what I'd said, so we went around the side and sneaked into the back half of the restaurant that way, disguising ourselves with the use of a plate of fish and chips put on a serving trolley.

We sat down at a table as a waiter - who now that I think about it was J Jonah Jameson - was cleaning the one next to it. "You guys don't look very official," he said as we arrived. I tried to placate him by ordering a lemonade, but he pretended not to hear me until I had a main course as well. Trying to find something that looked light as I'd already eaten half a lunch, I asked for a recommendation between the cod, whiting and "spase", but woke up before I could take this madness any further.